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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704039">Homesickness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mountainside_possum/pseuds/Mountainside_possum'>Mountainside_possum</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alexsandr Kallus Needs A Hug, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death Star go brr, Emotions, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Survivor Guilt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:13:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mountainside_possum/pseuds/Mountainside_possum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where Alexsandr Kalllus’s home world was Alderaan, and Zeb comforts him after the usage of the Death Star against the planet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Homesickness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you to the anon on tumblr for this request!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>News of the Death Star itself had been heartbreaking, Alexsandr torn at the fact that such a creation could be allowed to exist. Then it was used, first on the Holy City of Jedha then on Scarif. It was all so much, so much grief and worry alongside constant fear. Without Andor, the intelligence center felt lonely. Alexsandr had almost considered him a friend, but now he was gone and they would never be able to actually maintain a friendship. Now, the late night stays into the intelligence center were lonely and quiet. With a hand propping up his chin, Alexsandr was nearly asleep as he listened to the background chatter coming through Alliance channels. It sounded similar to white noise, occasional voices peaking through. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After minutes of background noise of no importance, one sound caught the attention of both Alexsandr and the intelligence officer next to him. It was incredibly loud, almost earsplitting, sounding similar to a striking bolt of lightning entertwined with a metallic groan. Both exchanged glances, pulling off their headsets quickly to prevent further hearing damage. After minutes of background noise of no importance, one sound caught the attention of both Alexsandr and the intelligence officer next to him. A few voices were contacting the Alliance rapidly, all sounding frenzied and panicked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come in?” Normally, they wouldn’t be contacted directly, however it seemed like these pilots didn’t have the focus to know who they were talking to. “Calm down, pilot.” Alexsandr scolded the two, leaning forward to try and alter the settings on his communication equipment in order to strengthen the signal. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the pilot of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tacomsa.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The man still sounded panicked, but Alexsandr’s words had seemingly brought him back to reality. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tacomsa </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a smuggler run Alliance ship, manned by both Alliance and smugglers alike.  “We have arrived in the space around Alderaan for a supply run, but...it’s not here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean ‘not here’, pilot?” That made no sense. That planet was Alexsandr’s home, the place he’d grown up. There was no way for it to just have vanished. The logical conclusion, that the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Death Star </span>
  </em>
  <span>had finally been used on a non-military target, didn’t hit him yet. No, there was no way that his home was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He turned to his fellow intelligence officer, ordering him. “Keep talking to them, this needs to be reported.” Alexsandr pulled himself out of his seat, rushing into the hallway. It was time to alert the council of the possibility, as much as it threatened to pull tears from his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-------------------------------</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For once Alexsandr wished he could unlearn something, but with the rescue of the Princess came confirmation that yes, his home planet was gone. His family was gone, and so was everything he’d ever fought for. He’d attempted to keep himself busy throughout the day, focusing on helping with the analysis of the Death Star schematics and giving his previous Imperial knowledge to anyone it may help. Yet, the horror was slowly sinking in. The feeling of homelessness and fear creeping deep into his bones. His hands shook, his stomach refusing to allow him to eat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were others on the base from Alderaan too, he’d seen them mourning in small groups around the base. Yet, these people hadn’t committed genocide. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t deserve to mourn. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’d avoided the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ghost </span>
  </em>
  <span>crew after the news broke, instead moving around the base so he couldn’t be followed too closely. A part of him feared that he had allowed this to happen, he hadn’t done enough to spy during his time as Fulcrum. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, night had fallen on the base. He knew just how odd it would be if he kept up his pacing, yet it seemed impossible to return back to the shared officer’s room he had with Zeb. Especially when he couldn’t figure out if Zeb wanted to be his friend or wanted...well destroy him for Lasan.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A part of him knew, he knew his family had not survived the explosion. He could hear his mother’s voice now, complaining about how she ‘didn’t get off world vacations’ paid by her employer. Silently, he cursed the very place he’d grown up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>————————</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Zeb, have you seen Kallus?” Ezra was holding a data pad, and had just run down the hall to a screeching halt in front of the lasat. “He asked me to give this to him.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, I haven’t seen him.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>He hasn’t been in the room the past few days either, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zeb mentally noted. “Here, I’ll get it to em’” Carefully, he grabbed the pad from the young Jedi who took off down the hall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks! I owe you one!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ya’ owe me a lot more than one.” Zeb grumbled under his breath. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That brat. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Still, he had just been given an excuse to go find Kallus. That was more than he needed. The search was a lot more scent based than he’d like to admit, the man’s earthy tone scattered various parts of the temple and grounds surrounding the base. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now if I was a kriffin’ idiot, where would I be? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping into the information center, it appeared empty at first. Most of the communications equipment had been moved into the war room to prepare for a possible assault on the super weapon. That was until his ears picked up soft, muffled sniffling. “Kal? Ya’ in here?” Stepping inside, the sounds stopped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One of the many perks of being lasat, Zeb’s ears, were coming in handy. The sounds seemed to be coming from a small supply closet. “Kal, I don’t know why you’re avoiding me but you can stop now.” Zeb tried to make his voice sound comforting, which didn’t always work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If…” There was another sniffle, clearly the man had been crying. “If you’re here to say I deserve it, please tell me another time.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That you deserve what, Kal?” Zeb carefully sat down near the closed door, figuring that it would probably be awhile until he could convince Kallus to actually show himself emotional. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened...Alderaan.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, that was his home planet. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zeb knew that pain all too well, when Lasan had fallen he thought his whole world was ending. It felt like nothing was worth living for. “You’re from there?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y...Yes.” The man’s voice broke, a quiet sob escaping. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He probably had family. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Ya’ know, I understand how it feels. It...it hurts a lot, Kal.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you’re aware. That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault.” Kallus’s voice lowered almost to a rumble, as if admitting that made him so emotionally overwhelmed his voice couldn’t contain it all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kal, it wasn’t your order.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop blaming yourself for that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Come out, I can convince you better if you’re out here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not a chance.” He replied stubbornly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why,” Zeb questioned, “you used to hidin’ in closets?” A smile creeped onto the lasat’s face as he heard a soft, sad chuckle from behind the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can hear that obnoxious grin in your voice, Garazeb.” A small woosh went past Zeb’s side as the door slid open. Alexsandr’s eyes were red and puffy, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why didn’t you tell me, Kal? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“You want to talk about it?” Zeb didn’t move, instead letting the human pick a spot next to him where he felt comfortable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m...not sure I still completely believe it. All those people...just </span>
  <em>
    <span>erased.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Kallus shook his head, gently playing with his hands in order to ease the tension. “I never wanted to believe it would be something like that…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s awful.” Zeb carefully lifted a hand, placing it on the man’s shoulder. He could see him flinch at first, then carefully lean into the comfort. “It’s...a lot to process, especially all at once.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Zeb, I know I look ridiculous right now but…” He sighed heavily, a sad smile tugging at his lips. “But thank you for being here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Course, Kal.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll always be here for you, I love you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That’s the bit Zeb kept to himself, yet in Kallus’s smile he could have sworn he saw something deeper. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, and May The Force Be With You! </p>
<p>Follow Me! <br/>Twitter: @imperialsimp<br/>Tumblr: mountainsidepossum</p></blockquote></div></div>
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